I Shot The Hooker, and You Know What? I Liked It!
The State Of Hookers and Violence, Brought To You By The Big La, Todd Kelley

Catchy title, huh?

Thanks Jaffe. You're the premiere wordsmith of our generation. We'd both recently picked up a game called Grand Theft Auto III for the Playstation2. As being the only person on the planet who's a bigger 'gamer' than I am, I'd catch him on the phone while he was playing....

And history is born...

For those who are not <insert finger-quotes here> 'in the know', Grand Theft Auto III is a game at the heart of social controversy. It's the story of a low-rent thug who escapes from police custody and becomes the hired gun for local crime families. The object of the game is to complete certain 'tasks' for the bosses and become a 'made man'. This includes everything from assassinations, to car-jacking, to leading the police in high-speed chases (complete with roadblocks, helicopters, FBI and tanks!).

Sound like fun? Well, it is. But it's also very violent, profane and (in some ways) racist. I mean, this game pushes the envelop on so many levels. Italian Mafiosi and Japanese Yakuza complete with the accents, Black pimps with the purple suits, Middle-Eastern cab drivers and the list goes on. I'd find myself playing this game and saying "Oh no they didn't just say that!"

You want some highlights?

There's a 'most wanted' scale of stars. The more stars you have, the more dangerous the police consider you. If you run over/kill a bunch of people, you're guaranteed as least one star. The police will chase you, but give up interest after a while. But if you 'accidentally' hit a police are, then you get 2 or 3 stars, and they sick the helicopter on you! Talk about your priorities...

If you're low on energy and have a little cash, you can cruise the streets at night and pick up a hooker. Drive her to a secluded part of the city, and she'll perform 'services' that will build up your energy. But the sick part is, after she's done, you can hit her with a baseball bat and take your money back. And the pimp in the purple suit won't do anything! What the f%^%...

All your favorite organized crime stereotypes are in here! The Italian Mafia, The Japanese Yakuza, The Hispanic Barrio thugs, The Rastas, and even the the good 'old American Corporate criminals. If you're gonna insult someone, might as well hit 'em all...

And there's even a little hinted lesbian action between two female characters to round out the palette.

So, I can hear all you guys asking "How can you defend a game where the objective is to kill people and commit crimes?"

Easy.

IT'S A FRIGGIN' GAME!!

It's ADULT entertainment. Say it with me: ADULT ENTERTAINMENT. Recognizing that video games aren't just for children any more, a rating system was implemented by The Entertainment Software Rating Board.

Also, just because the game has violent tendencies, doesn't mean you have to be violent. Sure, I can run around the city killing hookers with my baseball bat...

...but I don't.

I can run down pedestrians in my car...

...but I don't.

I can run the top of the parking garage and blow up cars and people with my rocket launcher...

...but I don't (do that too often).

Honestly, I try to finish my missions with the least amount of violence. That's not a reflection on the game, but on me. I don't like hearing the sound of people being crushed under by wheels, so I try not to let it happen.

Now if that's your type of thing thing, then have a ball.

IT'S A GAME!

I think writer, Seanbaby said it best in an article wrote on Video Games & Violence:

"If I saw actual statistics showing that the number of hookers getting beaten to death with baseball bats drastically increased after Grand Theft Auto 3 was released, I'd probably rally against violent video games too. But let's not be silly. Our hookers are fine, and the world wouldn't be a safer place if the top-selling Playstation game were Feelings Workshop: The International Tea-Sipping Game. The real danger is going to come when The Sopranos gets canceled to free up airtime for flying pony poetry reading, because then I guarantee we'll snap. In this time of national alert, if a video game doesn't crawl out of TV and try to explode us, I say we have more important things to worry about."

'Nuff said, Seanbaby, nuff said.

That'll do, Pig. That'll do..